estella .

Friday, December 17, 2004

boinks

Round 5: self-doubt
i realised what a big difference ur thinking can make, and how amazing our mind and body works. hahas. today we had dance as usual, im starting to enjoy it. oh no, i think ive become sadistic. lol but im veh glad tt now, i feel healthy at least. =D hmm.. we had to practice our front walk. it was okay at first, but i dono why.. de more i tried, de worse it became. i felt bad, cos i was oways de one who troubled mr khoo de most. =x anyway, he was still veh patient with me, tho i sensed a lil pek-ness. frustrated i guess. well, im frustrated with myself too. mr khoo den asked me to do handstands. i tried a few times, but couldnt get it. i was abt to explode frm within. too angry with myself i think. but when i finally got it, haha! de joy was superly-sweetly-victoriously joyous! =) we den proceeded to do front walk. my flaw is tt i dont haf de strength to kick. lol i wish i cud combine with via and zel. den it'll be perfect! ^^

anyway, ive found out tt if i keep saying i cant do it, i rrly cant. but during de time when i was so overly pek with myself tt i wanted to stomp on de floor and make a big hole, i told myself not to put myself down. i fumed and fumed, and refused to tok to myself. as in, dat lil voice in my head tt kept repeating 'u cant do it.. u cant cant cant'. i shut it up and rrly concentrated on every move. i pictured it in my head, and when i finally did it.. i was SO FREAKING HAPPY!!! yay yay yay.

hmm.. qingpei din come for dance today. :( i miss her lol