i dreamt about Death today morning! (its morning cos i obviously did nt want to wake up)oh. it was a very weird and real dream. even as i recall it now, the bits and pieces do seem to fit together, and make sense! (unlike my other dreams, eg. the ANT one) i dreamt that my grandma was a spirit *choy choy choy touchwood!!* and she came back. super scary. abit evil and sinister, so shall not touch on that. then, i dreamt of my grandma, who possessed supernatural powers now(as a spirit), telling me that i would only live up to 70! so i thought "whoa, how she noe? but not so bad larr, since its 70. i also dont want to live till very very old."following which, i was brought to the it-rex room in school.(i suspect its due to the stupid isp which made me spend hours inside listening to some crap) and i saw Hazel, sylvia, and han! i remember i was happy in my dream. i told them that i would live till 70 only and lamented about life. THEN THEY DROPPED THE BOMBSHELL ON ME.not literally of cos, if not i really die ler. they behaved squeamishly, and said they needed to talk to me. so i thought" DIE. is it cos of my behaviour? i cuss too much? they dont wanna be my friends anymore?" i was sick with worry, and doubts just flooded my err.. subconscious mind? but i found out why they behaved like this. I HEARD MY GRANDMA WRONGLY! i was gonna die at 17 instead of 70!wah piangs. i scared like shit okay. i thought of my money. can i donate to spca? can i distribute to my frens.. blah blah. i even thought of chocs! like why i never spend more money eating them (btw, the choc buffet super tempting), now cannot eat ler. and also, why the heck am i studying so hard for if im gonna die at 17.i felt super sad okay. empty too. and at that point in time, i realised that i was truely living a "life-less" life. i mean, all i do is study. go heaven/hell with pHd big ah? and i cant even help out at spca! and i only had one boyfren! and i havent kissed. Omg. i felt pathetic( still do now) i blamed myself for lacking courage. should have just grabbed the hot guy and kissed him right? aha. but i never, gonna die then regret. then i kind of forgot what happened, bt i vaguely recall rain, my mom bringing me to a priest, and him saying its hopeless alrd. yah thats abt it. gawd, so real leh! scary can. so friends, if ever comes The Day, just note that i love u all yea? =)
