estella .

Wednesday, February 22, 2006

taste the colours of the rainbow

What happens when all your dreams are lying on the ground
Do you pick up the pieces all around

so tired. been reading to pass time. oh well, went to the library again. and i couldnt resist the temptation to borrow more books. so i did. two more =) coincidentally, both are yellow. looks interesting enough. one is called "Eats, shites and leaves". caught my eye immediately. haha. it's quite funny. oh yes, went walking ard trying to look for a nice place to work in today. Hmm. But to no avail! i guess i still feel pretty sian and lazy, dont really wanna work. But i have to eventually. going to Poly means i need money to buy a laptop, thumbdrive, clothes(not an excuse ok) and i would want wireless connection too if possible =) so i'd better get a job by the end of this month!

i'm worried. people change. nothing remains the same forever. i've heard that poly changes people. or rather, going to poly does that. especially mass com. where the girls are stereotyped as bitchy, selfish and competitive. not to mention the fact that they are really proficient in english (which i am not) and that they are a whole lot more confident than me (even on a good hair day, my confidence level will probably be lower than them having a bad hair day) sigh. i hope i've chosen wisely. or wait, i think thats not enough. i hope i'll be able to survive in there. not just survive, cos i wanna do well. i really, earnestly do. maybe when i get into mass com, i'll start slacking and giving the heck-care attitude which has shadowed me for like, four years? or maybe more. but i shall not depress myself further by counting how many yrs i've really slacked off. my point is i wanna do well enough to get into uni. i hope that whenever i feel like slacking, this entry will put me back to my "nerd mode". =D

in poly, i hope i will NOT:
1. become bitchy, overtly mean(tho sometimes i cant help it) and selfish.
2. become materialistic, though this doesnt mean tt i shldnt own anything branded.
3. backstab.
4. lose contact with my friends in jc/bp
5. turn into a LIAN. Lol.
6. go clubbing. (urm, a little too young isn't it?)
7. slack.(aka pon lectures, not doing assignments)
8. dislike mass com, the people inside and the lecturers.
9. fall out with han.
10. lose sight of my goal.

i just wanna excel in one area and specialise in it. please let me find something i can be good at for once. i'm so sick of having nothing impressive enough to even talk about. *mutters* i will do my best, i will do my best, i will. i hope i wouldnt keep to myself in mass com, tho i have this nagging suspicion that i will become very very quiet. especially in classes. Hahaha. we shall see. cheers to the future.

happy birthday once more, my dearest sinyee.=)