estella .

Tuesday, March 14, 2006

when i think of you.

Absence diminishes mediocre passions and increases great ones,
as the wind extinguishes candles and fans fires.

there's a reason for the blue font.
went to my grandma's place today,
and it left me thinking.
i love her. =)
going to her house gives me a sense of security and warmth.
seeing the way she busied herself,
preparing the soup for me,
heating up the fish.
telling me about how to cook dishes.
it was only then i realised that she's really quite lonely.
no one's ever home to be with her.
she told me abt grandad and her.
him pushing her just cause she threw away his broken chair.
she said she almost wanted to leave,
just pack her stuff and go.
but she did not.
they sleep in separate rooms now.
do they still love each other?
was there even love in the first place?
she said tt she has tolerated him right from the beginning,
and she shall just bear with him till she dies.
when she said this, i blinked back tears.
is the love really gone? was responsibility the only string that is pulling her to stay with him?
will that string snap??
my grandma makes my grandad out to be such a bad husband.
but i believe he has his side of the story.
that i never got round to hearing.
maybe the both of them are just too proud to give in.
or maybe they don't see the need to anymore.
=(

whatever it is, it made me feel down.
i don't want to marry a guy i don't love, if i ever figure out what's love.
i don't want to have to sleep in separate rooms.
i don't want the love to die as time passes.
i don't want old age to be a reason for not showing affection or care.
i want to be happy even when i'm old and wrinkly.

lastly, sorry sinyee. i don't know what i did to deserve such an understanding friend like you, but still, thanks. =) i love u!

*you always forgave me*