estella .

Saturday, June 03, 2006

i write with double meanings.

I will not make the same mistakes that you did
I will not let myself cause my heart so much misery 
I will not break the way you did
You fell so hard
I've learned the hard way, to never let it get that far

projects are piling up and i can hardly breathe. deadlines are nearing and stress levels are hitting max. I HATE STRESS. =( STRESS GIVES ME GASTRIC PAINS, WHICH IN TURN SPOILS MY APPETITE FOR FOOD. *ps: i realise that my spelling has gone down the drain. please forgive!* Hmm haven't really been eating well these days. I used to eat four meals a day with constant snacking. Recently, it's been cut down DRASTICALLY. gone are the snacks, and i only eat breakfast OR lunch. dinner depends on my mood. well, so there are days when i only eat one meal. It's like, i don't even feel like eating. Even if im hungry, the food doesnt appeal to me anymore. I SO HATE STRESS. Rah! Anyway, my pay slip has arrived! Hurray.

despite my pounding headache today, my brain did not cease asking questions. stupid questions that cloud my head. Let's say if you could predict that one day something bad will happen to an object that you like, if you could forsee the negatives... would you still allow it to happen? or would you try your best to protect it so that no damage would be done to it? well, i allowed the negative to happen. like how i knew my laptop case sucked and that it would do nothing to protect my laptop if i dropped it. I knew this, and yet i chose to let the expected happen. when i could have gotten the shock-proof cover for my laptop...

I believe this is the same for love too, generally. We all know that one day the feeling's gonna fade, we can all see a day when the relationship turns sours and comes to an end, when lovers turn into foes. and yet we still choose to put our hearts on the line, we still choose to risk getting hurt. often, the risks ends up in heartbreaks. yet, all these is part of life and learning to accept what we cannot change. why take risks, when we are given the option to prevent being heartbroken? because we need to make mistakes in order to learn. because we want to believe.

im upset that my laptop is "disfigured" now but there's a voice inside me that says,"Hey, you now have a unique mac! It's not so bad afterall." Stupid optimistic voice. Optimism is so last century. Haha.. Kidding. =___=" Nvm la, after dropping and scarring it.. i've learnt to appreciate my mac so much more.

I Heart My Mac. (: