estella .

Tuesday, November 07, 2006

lim mian!

today i saw a snail.

Hello hello! did today turn out better for you? =)
it did- for me.

Anyway, im super happy cause i met my pri sch bestie at westmall today. LIM MIAN AH! OMG last time we met was in sec one. She changed alot! and mian says i've changed alot too. eh heh, could hardly recognise her. very very happy to see her again. We talked nonstop, like machine guns. haha. there were so many things to say, so many questions to ask. really missed her. felt like old times again. i'm glad. =D at least some things don't change. even though it's been 3 (nearly 4) years, we talked as though we've never been apart. there were no barriers. i was truly happy. it's nice meeting someone from my past; someone i've been close to, and finding that we could still converse as well as last time. ahhh, now i miss lois too.

why is everything so blurred these days? i can't tell reality from imagination anymore. it's like the days seem to compress themselves together, so much so that i can't recall any details. no, there's nothing that's clear to me anymore. everything's just a blurred mess.

my life is a big mess, just like my room. =/ and i'm not doing anything to make it better again.

why is it that people often notice the things that are there, but seldom question the absence of things? just because something is absent or not said, doesn't mean it's simply meant to be this way. maybe there are reasons...

your email. it was good to see it again. it was so good, the sadness that came with it didn't matter. the reminder that you've left me constantly hangs in the air. i may have loved you the wrong way but i really don't see why you have to say goodbye. why must you give me up. i really don't understand. if you read my blog and thought for an instant that im doing fine without you, well you're so wrong.
it's been raining so much in my world, the tears aren't drying up. smiles are simply a convenient facade; laughter is used to numb the pain i'm constantly feeling. i'm telling you this because i don't want you to think that i've moved on without you. don't believe what's on the surface. ~~i think i can only truly move on when you have done so.~~ i have so much, and yet nothing to say to you. my words-they never come out right.
if you see this by chance, i want to say... don't think too much please. take care please.~~i get real scared when i think of you sad.~~
*know that i'll always love you. you hold a special and important place in my heart.