如果想哭我自己会找地方
你不必担心我会弄湿你肩膀
走在街上到处是寂寞的人
我想谁都不要同情的眼光
受一点伤并不是可怕的事
人就是这样才会愈来愈坚强
谁叫男人永远比女人清楚
爱情它何时该收何时该放
你走吧我不哭无论多痛苦
你走吧我不哭就算会迷路
i had a good time with my tall sister ytd. shall post up the pics if i ever get down to uploading them. heh heh.
anyway swam 40 laps with ling and ivan the great today. we're chao ta i tell you! CHAO TA!
went back to school for Iac meeting.
had lunch at canteen two. my first time trying the fried fish mee.
(: quite nice lah. though ling said it wasn't as good. (in her blog)
after meeting, ling ivan and i went to library to slack/ do our radio.
Tsk! i was slacking almost 2/3 of the time. =p
just some thoughts that i have to "vomit" out here. i'm really fine. not emo or anything at all. =) just need to rant.
sometimes i really dislike myself. extremely.
i get really disgusted and irritated with myself for some silly reason.
and then my mood turns foul and i start venting my anger on anyone within the 10m radius of my vision.
which means the people i love get most of the blows.
and that sucks horribly.
i feel so awful that i get even more pissed with myself.
and the vicious cycle goes on.
it's the thoughts.
it's the inability to explain to anyone at all what is this im feeling inside.
no, i can't put any of these feelings into words.
i really think i'm my biggest enemy sometimes.
but no, i'm not falling to the emo aka dark side.
i just want to say sorry if you have been at the receiving end of my outbursts.
be it a minor fluctuation in my voice that suggests i'm pissed off, or the black face i give when i'm annoyed with the whole world including myself.
i know such signs are hard to miss and though you guys may shrug it off... it still doesn't lessen the fact that i've been such a bitch.
i'm so sorry.
i don't understand myself sometimes either.
and it's getting to me. it's irrtating the hell outta me. so... im kinda stuck in a rut now. Lol.
thank you guys for tolerating my weird moods these days.
i can get really snappy once i'm provoked- either by a thought, person or thing.
tsk. dui bu qi......... =(
i hate my bad temper.
i hate it when i vent it on people i love.
gah....!!! estella estella, what have you done?
okay, i promise i'll check myself more often. self-control!
i really really am upset with myself. for not being myself.
ahhhh. no one will understand this shit.
and one more thing.
i read someone's blog today and this particular entry just...
bugged me like a splinter. as someone would nicely put it.
i really don't understand why either.
why is it that some people
claim that their love will last forever.
that they will never stop loving this special someone...
and yet their actions don't seem to convey this message too.
actions speak louder than words indeed.
i personally think that the time you take to move on is a sign of respect for the other.
yes, so she may be someone you
once loved.
yes, it isn't stated in black & white that you can't get a new girl because you totally have the right to do so.
yes, perhaps the breakup wasn't all nice or perhaps it wasn't you who wanted the breakup in the first place.
SO?
is that reason enough?
i don't know.
but how can you hold someone's else hand; whisper the three words to someone else... in just a short span of time?
i don't know how you do it.
do you even know what you're doing? i hope you're not on a rebound, my friend.
because i really don't see how can one who claims he loves this person dearly have a change of heart so quickly.
make it make sense to me. =(
why is it that when the sun rises on someone, it sets on another?
why does it have to be this way?
if i love you more than i love myself, is it then alright for me to wish for the sun to set on me and rise on you?
shucks. is this becoming emo? my mind is whirling with thoughts now. damn i need a pensieve like dumbledore's. haha.
sometimes i wonder, if i pretend that i'm in love with someone else... would you mind? would it get to you or would you just shrug it off. i really want to know if you still care. but would i really rather the sun set on you?
sometimes the ones who look toughest on the outside are actually not that strong deep down.
are you one of them?
do you still think of me? and when you think of me, what emotions do these thoughts evoke?
i miss you badly.
i still believe in what you said.
and i won't doubt.
until the day you prove me wrong.
i'd forgotten green without you here.
i'd forgotten green without you here.